|
HOME Friends & Suggested Reads  |
|
1/23/2004 Wow, so I'm trying to muster up the inspiration to write through this quagmire of dull predictability in my life. The gamut of white radical politics is beginning to run its course I think and now I'm trying to figure out where to go with my mind. Apologies to my 2 readers, I'm having wine to loosen up while writing this so I can get out some of the nitty-gritty that doesn't pass so easily. I've been having some intense and interesting discussion with friends lately, mostly dealing with the aforementioned recognition of the limits of white radical politics. This has resulted in an all new form of spiritual crisis-- an admittedly odd experience for a non-spiritual person. So maybe that crisis could be more easily recognized as an identity crisis. I've been feeling for some time that going to protests and organizing these weird patronizing sort of "i'm gonna help you" campaigns isn't jiving with me, but I haven't known what to do with that energy. Most recently I've taken to going to these same events as the 'gonzo' reporter, taking a page from Hunter S. and just writing about what's happening through my lens on the world. (see my previous post) This satisfies some part of me but not entirely. It feels more like criticizing a bankrupt movement instead of empowering new people and new possibilities. {{A quick aside... I feel there is a definite place for criticizing bankrupt movements, even satirizing the whole shit heap. As a consumer movement people need to realize that they're still playing in that old ballpark called capitalism}} Still don't know where this leaves things. Right now I'm just writing as much as I possibly can, even for publications that I hate. Pessimism is a foregone conclusion and I think sometimes it's good to wallow in that (as opposed to cynicism). As the mAngus pointed out to me, pessimism is just the ultimate expression of frustration. I still have energy, still want to do things, just not in the same old self gratifying way I have been. The problem is that I realized I can't dance in that revolution, so I don't want to be a part of it.
posted by Nathan Hall at 1/23/2004 05:13:00 AM link |
